After telling her it was time to let Madden choose a show on Netflix,
Emma, stomping upstairs: UGH I JUST HATE WHAT'S HAPPENING!
While trimming the tags off his new clothes for kindergarten (!!!),
Madden: Don't be mad at me if I cut you. You can just go get a bandaid.
Talking about racism with the kids during the Charlottesville protests,
Me: Do you know what racism is? Have you heard that word before?
Madden: *looks confused*
Emma: I think so?
Me: Racism is when people don't like other people because their skin is a different color. It's dumb.
Emma, genuinely confused: That was supposed to be way in the past?
While emptying the dishwasher (again),
Madden: Mom, don't call them silverware. Just call them metal forks and spoons and knives. I don't like saying "silverware."
Calling Madden in for dinner while he's playing with the neighbor boy,
Me: Tell him you'll play with him tomorrow.
Madden: I'll play with you tomorrow, okay? Go to your home please.
Emma: Mom, fix your attitude.
Me: Can't. It's broken.
Emma: Then you're kicked out of this family.
While on the way home from Myrtle and pretending to be following their directions,
RJ: Emma and Madden. Where do we go from here?
Emma: We have no idea, but we'll keep a lookout.
While in the car,
Madden: I'm hungry!
Emma: Then swallow your spit.
Madden: Mom! Star Wars came out (on Netflix).
Emma: When movies come out they just pop out of the theater and into our TV.
Madden: I'm gonna keep this bandaid so I can remember myself from the doctor.
While looking at my typewriter,
Emma: That looks like a computer they used in the past.
I hear a blood curdling scream upstairs,
Me: What's going on up there?
Them: We're just playing hide and seek!