Me: Ughhhh, my head hurts so bad. Even the air is hurting my head.
Madden, confused: The air is just fresh?
Me: You guys want pancakes for breakfast?
Madden: No. I want whipped cream and syrup mixed up together.
Me: I don't think so.
While sitting up to the table for dinner, Madden brings a container full of rocks he collected on the playground that day at school,
Emma: Madden. What do you think is important? The rocks, or eating?
Madden, sheepishly: ...eating.
Emma: *waves her finger in Madden's face*
Madden: Mom, are strawberries animals?
Me: Nope. They're plants.
Madden: Is wheat bread made from cows?
Emma, annoyed: No. Wheat bread is made from WHEAT.
Emma: Madden, do you like wheat?
Emma: THEN WHY ARE YOU EATING CHEERIOS? Cheerios are made out of wheat.
Madden: My nose is stuffy because of my melted boogies.
Me: When I was a teenager I had a friend named Monica...
Madden: Oh! Like "Celebrate Hanukkah!"
Me: Sure thing.
Madden: The sun is so bright in my eyes. It makes me die sometimes.
Me: Is Dad going to bring Dewey when he moves to be by us?
Madden: I think so, because Dewey's head is so soft.
Me: Solid reasoning.
Madden: Today Ms. Kiana told me to blow my eyelash and make a wish and so I blowed it twice and I made a wish and I told her "I wish you could be quiet!"
Girl Scout leader: What color do you wear on St. Patrick's Day?!
Emma: I wear what I want to wear.
Emma: I'm gonna tell you about all the animals I haven't learned about. I haven't learned about one hump or two hump camels. And I haven't learned about mom getting pregnant.
Emma: Madden, do you like organic stuff? Organic means it's huge.
Me: No. Organic means it's expensive for no reason.
Me: Madden bud, I need to scoot over because I have to do my homework.
Emma: Yeah because you're back in college because you need more money so you buy us a house.
Singing to himself in the other room,
Madden: I'm not gonna listen to my girlfriend because she wants to sell out!