Madden: What's a fashion show? IT'S WHEN YOU PEE YOUR PANTS.
Emma: *asks Madden math questions*
Madden: *counts using his fingers*
Emma: Brain. BRAIN. Use your brain, not your fingers.
Madden: Mom, remember when we went to Jeff's house and stayed all night?
Me: Yeah, bud. Did you have fun with Ky?
Madden: Ky? Who's Ky?
Me: ...uhhhh the girl who lives there. Jeff's daughter...
Madden: His daughter, my butt.
7 minutes into a 30 minute drive,
Emma: HOW MANY HOURS?!
The day before I brought both kiddos to work with me,
Me: Only 10 more times of coming to Little Lambs :(
Madden: But tomorrow we get to watch Netflix in your office!
Emma: We should stay off electronics. WE ARE READING BOOKS THE WHOLE TIME!
The next day when I brought both kiddos to work with me,
Me: We have to walk through the city to get to my work.
Me: We drive to the garage, park, go up the elevator and out the building and then walk through the city to my work.
Emma: Okay! I LOVE elevators.
Madden: And I love snow storms!
Me: ...okay then.
Describing what her leg felt like (she'd sat on it and it'd fallen asleep, something she'd never experienced before),
Emma: It feels like fuzzy wussy stuff.
The kids smacking their mouths so fucking loud while eating,
Me: STOP BEING SO EXTRA!
Madden: I'm gonna name all the animals on the farm that are gross that I like. TURKEY.
Madden: Goats. They taste like blueberries. What else? Oh, yeah! Sheeps and horses.
Emma: I know! SPONGE BOB!
Madden: No. He lives in the sea...