Gifting me used glitter lip gloss for my birthday,
Emma: That one I used to use a lot but I don't anymore so I want you to have it for your body parts.
Me: Ummmm, thanks!
Emma: If there was spaghetti and meatballs at IHOP I would get it. I would be like "Yep. Mmmm hmmmm. That's my food."
Emma: Mom does your heart look like a heart or a circle?
Me: A real human heart?
Me: *shows pic of a real human heart*
Emma: Oh, so like a strawberry.
Madden: *horrified look on his face* Mom, I can't finish my dinner.
Emma: I know what a diploma is.
Me: What is it?
Emma: It's a piece of paper.
Madden: It's a piece of paper like toilet paper. Like the brown part when the toilet paper is done.
Emma: Is a diploma for high school or college?
Emma: Everyone that's an adult has one.
Me: Not everyone.
Emma: Well, except for the McDonald's people.
Walking in the kitchen from school, pissed off,
Emma: My friend had to sit on punishment today and I had to enjoy it with her.
Emma: This floor is made out of tittle or whatever.
Emma: Yeah. Tile.
Me: Look! I got a bug bite. UGH.
Emma: Good for you.
Me: What?! Bad for me!
Emma: Oh stop! It's not the end of your life!
Madden: I know how to make peanut butter. You get peanuts and then chocolate.
Emma: Do you make peanut butter with CHOCOLATE? No. You get peanuts and then some peanut butter has sugar.
Madden: And I know that you put flour too.
Sees .50 cal round on the window sill,
Madden: Look! The bullet! It's the bullet that blows people up!
Me: Mm hmm, it is.
Madden: I want to blow it up!
Madden: How about on the bad guys though?